By Danny Floh Back of DJ Floh Back Productions

Many couples have confessed to me that picking a first dance song is the most stressful part of planning their wedding. How do you pick one song from all the choices on iTunes? Should it be fast or slow? Classic or contemporary? Choreographed dance or just freestyle it?

I have a very simple answer to this enigmatic problem: pick a song that reflects who you are, and makes you happy.

During your first dance, wedding guests (and professional photographers) care about getting a picture of you dancing and smiling while no one else is on the dancefloor.  You too will care months later when you are looking at your pictures.  A natural joy should resonate from the image.  So you need to pick a song you like, that puts a big smile on your face, and helps you block out the fact that everyone you care about in your life is watching you.

Sounds daunting?  It isn’t.

Think of an artist with special meaning for you and your fiancee.  Your first concert together perhaps, or the most frequent band that pops up on your iPod when you are having an “in night”.  Nearly every famous musician has produced some slow ballad that could work.  They don’t have a nice love song you like?  Then think of another artist, or consider a fast song.

In an effort to make this decision easier, couples often ask me what is popular this year to find out what song other people are using in hopes that they like it to. I say who cares what other people are using!  It’s YOUR wedding, it should be about YOU.  In fact, if couples are leaning towards a song we’ve used in the past (think Jason Mraz or Bruno Mars), I often discourage it.  We want the first dance to be unique to you and your day.

Couples who are concerned that they don’t have moves like Jagger often sign up for dance lessons.  You can probably guess what I’m going to say about that: if you are too busy focussed on a choreographed dance, you ain’t gonna be smilin!  Unless you take dance lessons regularly, don’t sign up for a last minute class and put unnecessary stress on yourself.  The moment your special dance if over, you’ll run to the bar to get a drink to relieve the stress, instead of partying with all your guests where you belong – on the dancefloor.

When I got married, in picking our first dance I followed my own advice.  I was sitting at my desk and called my now wife into the room to hear a song I thought worked on all levels for us: slow & soulful, a classic that was also original.  We starting swaying, singing, followed by happy tears, and the decision was made: Otis Redding didn’t have special meaning for us before, but he did from that moment on.

It was that easy, and can be for you too.

Danny runs an award-winning DJ team out of Toronto, dedicated to customizing every wedding soundtrack to the specific tastes of his clients and their guests. As seen in this photo, he was married to Kim Broome at the Delta Sherwood in Muskoka on 10.10.10. and danced to “That’s How Strong My Love Is.”

For more information check out Danny and his team at flohback.blogspot.com

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